On A Humour of Love by Robert Montagu…

a humour of love

'Firstly I think that I found it beautifully written.  I worked at ChildLine for 10 years and spoke to many abused children and so did a great deal of work around child sexual abuse.

The book is (of course) wonderfully sensitive around the confusion of love…

"I can't tell anyone ... he's my Dad, so I love him" was something I often heard, and the powerlessness, and the guilt of compliance and the unwanted and burdensome sexualization....

For me the strength   of the book came from the 'question and answer' structure you formulated   which made your narrative and responses so immediate and powerful and so honest.

 Of the content of the book I am deeply saddened and appalled.

Seven is such a very, very young child and the assumptions that were made

that self -gratification can  be taken from that child, and then  be called, and sold to the child as  'love',  is so very painful and disturbing.

And then the disbelief and blame from people who cannot face abuse for what it is, all resting on that child as a final double abuse.... Getting up and back to life from that is remarkable...Eton sounds so abusive and appalling too. The cynic in me does not believe, as we are told, that all is now well in Boarding Schools. I have heard some recent stories but we just need the recent leavers to come forwards and tell us and they, for all the reasons you so clearly give, stay quiet...' 

Margaret Laugton on A Humour of Love by Robert Montagu. Get your copy of this harrowing memoir here today.